Yesterday I was talking to Remi's gymnastics coach, Michelle, and she said "I am way busier now than when I worked full time". I have thought about that and, though I didn't have little kids while I worked so it is not a great comparison, I am definitely busier than when I was working full time.

Moms in general tend to wear many hats, but stay-at-home-moms (SAHM) tend to pile them on like a cap-seller (ie. the book "Caps for Sale"). I think this is easy to see in the very reason why most mom's choose to stay at home; they want to be involved and with their children. A lot of times that means joining groups, scheduling play dates, and participating in organized activities with and for your children. A lot of the children's activities really need volunteers to keep the program going and SAHMs are guilt-ed into volunteering for the groups their children go to. All of this uses up a lot of time, but then SAHMs have the problem of the lack of a second income and the guilt that brings for maybe not being able to buy what the kids want or being able to save enough for college. So the SAHMs get a SAH job. So now they are going to kids activities, volunteering, and then trying to make money on the side.

Then there are the household chores and the "projects". I just finished (at least the sewing) the cushions for the kitchen nook. I have a door ordered for the playhouse (replace the one that was really an indoor door), I am going to Flynn's carpet this afternoon to flirt with the salesman "Ken" so he will give me some free carpet remnants. I still need to make curtains and replacement windows for the house and then replace deck boards and railing boards before I sand and paint the deck, railing, and stairs. I'm not sure why I just stuck in all that detail, but whatever.

Plus, with any "left-over" time, SAHMs would like quiet time for books, games, and personal hobbies.

I'm not sure where I was going with this... I guess it was just an observation. Probably spurred by Mother's day!

As an aside about the girls: Genie has developed a new habit/obsession. She has to be able to play with her bellybutton in the car and going to sleep. It is one of those inny/outie buttons so she pulls it out, then stuffs it back in, then does it again. it is so weird. Remi makes up stories about babies and horses she sees while we are out. Giving them names, telling me what she does with them, what games they like to play. Not only does she love to talk, but she has a very vivid imagination. Ellie is still involved with neopets. I think my neopet is probably dying. I should probably have Ellie feed it for me.

Tuesday we had to put our last cat down due to kidney failure. PC was a wonderful cat especially when it came to dealing with the girls and even the dog. It was so upsetting to loose both Harley and PC in twelve months. Ralph, Ellie, and I are very sad, Rémi wants a hamster, and Genie just doesn't understand. Several people have asked me if I want another cat, but I really don't think I do. For one thing we just don't know what caused the kidney failure in both Harley and PC so I can't be assured that it wouldn't happen to another kitty. For another thing, I think I am not a very good cat mommy. I have had four of my very own cats and none of them lived past 7 years old, and two of them disappeared at just over a year old.

Ellie said that her mom bought a lot of goldfish. I can't conceive of anyone thinking of fish as pets. For one thing, you can't "pet" them. They don't know you, they aren't friendly, and I really can't attribute any endearing characteristics to them. I will allow that they are calming, but I mostly find them boring

I would never have a bird for a pet again (of course I know you must never say never), but they are so messy. I found bird feathers still clinging to my furniture 10 years after having my last parakeet.

Though we had rabbits only briefly, I did enjoy them, but I don't think I would do that again because they are also messy.

Hamsters and other rodents die too quickly, lizards and snakes would scare the grandparents away from baby-sitting, and amphibians are too much like fish to be pets.

I guess there is no "perfect pet", or perfect anything. I was trying to console Ellie by saying that the reason it hurt so much to loose PC was because Ellie had loved her so much and that PC knew that.

Let me start this with the statement that I don't like the spotlight. In fact I operated the spotlight in high school during plays and the Mr. KR pageant. What I DO like is for the things I work on to matter and make a difference. When I create something I don't want a pat on the back for doing it, what I want is for it to be used.

In this area I have been very frustrated lately. When I created my personal site and even this blog I did it solely for myself. I made the website so I could show off my wonderful family any time I wanted, and I created this blog so I could get my thoughts down and release them. I don't care if people read it (else I would use a diary) but that wasn't my goal. With the synagogue though, this is a different matter. I set up and support the website and I created a discussion group for members to come together. As far as I can tell only my family members and one annoying and critical member read the website, and only 2 other people (plus this annoying and critical member) have posted to the discussion group.

I thought the discussion group would be a slam dunk. Most of our members have web access and I tried to put interesting and thought provoking topics on. Even if I failed at the topics, anyone could have created a thread and pulled people in. No one did.

I think the thing that kills more volunteer organizations than lack of funding is the feeling of either being personally unappreciated, or feeling that your efforts are unappreciated.

Monday we started our new session of classes at the YMCA. This session the girls are both taking swim lessons and Rémi has preschool gymnastics and Genie has mommy and me gymnastics. Rémi’s gymnastics class is what you would assume with children having coaches and learning about different pieces of equipment and what you do on them. Genie's class is just chaos in a gymnastics room. They have put lots of toys on the floor mat for the kids to play with and a slide that goes into the foam pit, but there is no instruction or any order. Halfway through the class the kids get in a circle to do some songs and finger plays (for those that don't know, that is things like "where is thumb-kin") and then it is back to chaos. I have signed up to be a parent volunteer in Rémi’s class which is actually a pretty good deal. I just help the coaches keep the kids in some semblance of order and spot them on equipment. In return I get a child-watch voucher for the time I am in Rémi’s class (that means I don't have to pay for Genie to be in child-watch) and another hour of free child-watch I can use whenever. Since I was going to be watching Rémi’s class anyway it is perfect.

I have a new idea for a best-selling novel. Written in first person about a stay-at-home mom who juggles kids, house, and solving mysteries. I definitely think it would sell. I think it would be easy to make it funny, and there are certainly a lot of mysteries involved in motherhood (who put the banana in the toy box last week?). Now I just have to find the time to write it.

Alissa

I previously posted about my misstep in giving Rémi a Cabbage Patch Doll for Christmas. Originally she didn’t even care to look at it until I showed her that it wore its own diaper. Now she is very fond of chastising it for being poopy, taking off the diaper, wiping the doll down all the while commenting on how there is poop everywhere, and then replacing the diaper. She takes great pleasure in this, though this is all she will do with that baby and the rest of her dolls get rocked, sung to, fed, and swung. If I were a fortune teller I don’t think it would be a risky venture to fore-tell her having many children. She loves babies. She loves to look at them, play with them, touch them, and talk about them. She wants to know everything about them. She is just so taken.

Genie’s birthday is just around the corner and I think we are going to get her a trike of her very own. Sadly, because of the rain and cold she won’t be able to really ride it until June, but she really doesn’t need much else. She might need another baby just to even out the ratio between her and Rémi, but she has everything else.

Ralph has been working a lot of late hours, which leaves me eating dinner with the girls alone. Genie has for the most part stopped holding food in her mouth (thankfully) but she is still very picky, and Rémi is working on eating us out of house and home. Just the afternoon she ate a whole peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a piece of string cheese, and two small bowls full of apple sauce. She said she still wanted to eat, but it was nap time and it seemed like a stall tactic

Christmas is mostly over (we just have one more family thing and then it is really done). It went pretty well. Only a few hang-ups. First, Ellie got a Nancy Drew game from Santa that had two discs in it. Unfortunately, the elves made a mistake and both discs said "Disk 2 of 2" on them. So I emailed the North Pole (aka Amazon.com) and they said they are sending a new game!! The other hang-up was that whatever Genie opened Rémi wanted, and a bit vice-versa. I think next year they will get matching everything! There was also the cabbage patch doll that I had gotten for Rémi that I was SURE she was going to love. It has curly hair just like Rémi and a beautiful blue and silver dress. When Rémi opened it, however, she acted like it was clothing. She was totally uninterested in it. I was crushed. I am sure I will get over it but I really thought I had a winner. At least Ellie liked her games and new stereo and Genie liked her Aqua Doodle and Fridge Phonics.

Our Christmas morning was fun, opening gifts in our jammies. Then Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Rick, and Aunt Lauren came for more gift opening, ham sandwiches, and holiday fun. We had a wonderful time, including having a bit of a talent show where Ellie played Christmas music on her flute, Lauren played her clarinet, Grandma read some prose, and Rick played his guitar and the rest of us sang along. definitely something we should do again.

After the others left we got all our Hanukkah stuff together and went to Janette and Lisa's house for Hanukkah and a bit of Christmas. We had latkes and ham (good Jewish meal) which was very yummy, then we opened gifts and played.

We had a really good day, but boy were we tired when we got home. I like that Hanukkah lasts 8 days so you can spread out the exhaustion!!

First Blog

I guess I am not really new to blogging... I have been keeping an online journal for years now, but this is the first one that I am actually calling a blog. The kids are slowing down in their development -- it isn't a new thing every week -- so I need other things to talk about and I have decided that life tends to give us lots of things to mull over. I have thought a lot about it and I am not going to bother being politically correct or politically neutral. Since this is my blog I am going to allow myself to be as opinionated as I really am and if people don't like it then I guess they don't have to read it. I will try to point out potentially controversial stuff.

The holidays are fast approaching. Remi has learned to sing Jingle Bells and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer really well and has a good start on We wish You a Merry Christmas. Of course she has had the Dreidle song down for a year. She picks up on songs quick. Genie is still giving us trouble with eating vegetables, but I have been sending her away from the table if she doesn't eat and that is starting to have an affect. The last several meals she has eaten at least a bite of vegetables willingly, and even swallowed them.

We won't be seeing Ellie until Christmas. Unfortunately this year she really didn't get to pick out any gifts because we didn't have her very much before Christmas and when we did we had other family committments.